Being: Pats

Dublin Calling'

Having seen his vision to introduce financial doping to domestic football thwarted, and with it being the year of The Gathering, beleaguered Saints owner Garret Kelleher has opted for one last throw of the dice, and, in an effort to crack the burgeoning American market, invited the ExPat Blog into the inner sanctum of 125 Emmet Road for a behind-the-scenes look at how Liam Buckley's outfit is shaping up.

Pre-season is in full swing, with the club's first competitive fixture (against Irish League side Glentoran) a matter of weeks away. On the training pitch, manager Liam Buckley is professionalism personified  and expects the same form his players, quietly chastising young Connor Murphy for a moment of petulance.

"You need to improve your attitude," Buckley tells the new recruit from Derry City.

"Steady," Murphy inadvisedly replies.

"You say 'steady' to me again when I'm saying something to you and you'll be on the first Luas back to Tallaght.You should be like a sponge here, learning off these guys," he says, pointing towards a bewildered Anto Flood, who assumes he has done something wrong. "You get one chance to play for St. Patrick's Athletic Football Club." Flood remains bewildered. As do Brendan Clarke, Shane McFaul, and Jordan Keegan.

Buckley then decides to lower the intensity of the training session with a game of what he calls "World Cup", dividing the squad into The Muppets, The Scangers, The Knackers, and Chris Forrester. The final is won by The Scangers  who beat The Knackers by the odd goal in three, with Killian Brennan playing a half each for both sides.

Brennan is one of seven new signings, and the bulk of last year's squad have been retained, leaving Buckley bullish about the club's prospects for 2013. "If you give a bad player time, he can play," he explains over a weak cup of tea in 125's media room. "And I think we have a lot of bad players at St. Patrick's Athletic Football Club,  and I'm going to give them all time to play." The ExPat Blog is slightly taken aback by Buckley's openness, until he expands that he purposely signs bad players in order to improve them. "I like to educate players," he says. "You train dogs. I educate players."

Buckley's education extends beyond the players. He sees himself as being the leader not only of his staff, but the club's supporters too. As such, he wants to broaden their horizons and challenge their assumptions. To this end, he has set about making the club more inclusive and representative of 21st Century Ireland. In an effort to diversify the club's support base, he has sought to bring in more ethnic talent to the squad, but simply can't afford to sign any good black players. Undeterred, he has come up with the next best thing. 

The players assemble in the home dressing room for a post-training team talk, or PTTT as Buckley prefers to call it. He produses three unmarked envelopes from his breast pocket and explains that each one contains the name of a player who Buckley will reveal to be gay at the end of the season.

"I don't care if you're gay or not. This is a management technique that will get the best out of you as professionals. The staff and the players."

The ExPat protests, "But surely, it's the choice of the individual if, when, and how to come out."

"Management technique," Buckley snaps back.

"And what if none of the players are even gay?"

"Management technique."


"And what if...."

"Management technique."        
 

Management Technique

One player not in attendance for the PTTT is full-back Ian Bermingham, who we find alone in the away dressing room, following Buckley's advice and getting in some extra conditioning. "Eight hundred and fifty sit-ups a week," he says, apropos nothing. "One for every euro." he elaborates,  proudly lifting his training top to reveal the taut abdominal muscles that Trevor Croly was so keen to take to Tallaght this winter break. "The Bermingham Six," he dryly says.

Not all of last year's squad are feeling so flush or looking so trim. Mark Rossiter and Darren Meenan have spent recent months in the treatment room rubbing Holy Water on each others respected injuries. Rossi has since upped ship, leaving Meenan alone with his Hail Marys and Oh Father Who Art In Heavens. The wide man remains optimistic of proving his fitness in time for the new season, telling The ExPat Blog of a quote Buckley uses to inspire him. "Per aspera ad astra," it goes. "Through adversity to the stars. It's deadly, isn't it?"

That doesn't sound at all untypical of Buckley, who seems very much to be a father figure for most of the squad. He does, in fact, say himself that he treats his players as if they were his sons, which goes some way towards explaining his reticence when The ExPat brings up the topic of Trevor Croly, one of his former sons. 

"It's water under the bridge," Buckley protests, his eyes perceptably watering. "I say let bygones be bygones. What's done is done. There's no point raking over old coals. The past is a foreign country."

But when pressed, Buckley's facade fades to reveal the cold calculated decisiveness that makes him such a force to be reckoned with. "Listen," he says, leaning eerily towards The ExPat, "Rovers made an approach for Trevor and we rejected it. Trevor then came to me saying he wanted to try his hand at management, so when Rovers came back in for him, we said they could have him but only if they took Sean O'Connor too."