Shelbourne Developments

With 8 points from 4 games Liam Buckley's new-look Saints appear to be ticking along nicely even if they have yet to show anything like the spirit of '99. This Friday presents the Saints with another opportunity to pass the ball around meanderingly for 90 minutes in the fashion of a FIFA-12-semi-pro-struggling-to-get-to-grips-with-the-shoot-button, as for the second time in a week they take on a motley crew of Macron-clad minnows from the northside of the Liffey, namely Shelbourne.

It's half a decade since the clubs last met in a league fixture. Back then, of course, a game against a Shels side was a very different proposition, a typical XI containing the likes of Owen Heary, Colin Hawkins, Jim Crawford, and Jason Byrne. Although the average nose size of a Shels player has decreased considerably since then, if last year's FAI Cup semi-final proved anything it is that - irrespective of the quality at their disposal - there remains something inherently unlikeable about Shelbourne Football Club.

'Drumcondra Says "NO"' Reverend Stephen Paisley

Their European exploits now also seem like a thing of the distant past, and their hob-knobbing with such luminaries as Hadjuk Split, Deportivo la Coruña, Lille, and Harchester United has been well and truly put in the shade by the recent achievements of FC South Dublin County Council.

Shels' Arch-rivals, Harchester United

These days Alan Matthews - two-time runner-up to Richard Sadlier for The World's Most Boring Voice Award - must work off a budget a fraction that of his predecessors, and while in Dean Kelly, Stephen O'Flynn, Jake Kelly, Christy Fagan, and Ian Daly the Saints have something of an embarrassment of riches up front, in Philly Hughes Shels have something of an embarrassment up fornt.

Not that 3 points can be taken for granted, as Liam Buckley himself pointed out this week in an exclusive Twitter interview with The ExPat Blog. The interview - although initially considered quite a coup for a blog with one follower - was difficult ,to say the least. The Saints manager came across as slightly unfamiliar with the medium and the interview rapidly descended into farce. Below is the timeline.

theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 thanks for taking time out for the interview, Liam #appreciated
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog don't mention it
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 v bohs: 2 points dropped or 1 gained?
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog 2 dropped. you could say we need to Bucko up our ideas #punintended
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 any personnel changes v Shels? Fagan, Forrester, perhaps?
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog  perhaps. I'm the gaffer. I pick the team the Bucko stops with me.
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 ok...are shels a threat this year?
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog  maybe. they should take a leaf out of my Bucko, though #longballmerchants
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 how will we deal with that long-ball threat on Friday?
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog don't worry. we won't Buckle under the pressure.
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 Liam, can we cut out the puns, please?
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog why? they're the oldest trick in the Bucko.
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 come on, Liam...please...
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog  we should do the interview by the Bucko
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 please...
bucko_3_5_2 @theexpatblog don't judge a Bucko by its cover
theexpatblog @bucko_3_5_2 FFS, Liam...

TBC

Played: 3 Won: 0 Drawn: 0 Lost: 3 Goals For: 0 Goals Against: 4 Goal Difference: -4 Points: 0. Early days though they are, the League of Ireland table makes pretty grim reading for supporters of 12^th-place Bohemian Football Club, or The Big Club as they are more commonly known - a reference to the fact that they are easily one of the biggest clubs in Dublin 7. And things may get even worse before they get better for Aaron Callaghan and his band of amatuer men, as this Sunday Liam Buckley takes his swashbuckling, tiki-taki, Total Football Saints to the Leo Burdock Arena for what once would have been a top-of-the-table clash.

TBC HQ, Zurich, Switzerland

The Big Club (or TBC) have fallen on hard times of late, something about which this blog is loath to gloat. By now, TBC had hoped to be playing their home games in a purpose-built, 10-000-seater stadium on the outskirts of Newry, with a budget hefty enough to sustain a squadful of Michael Keanes. But external factors have put paid to those particular (pipe) dreams and despite the earnest and meticulous work of the democratically-elected board, TBC find themselves without a pot to piss in (proverbial or otherwise), thanks to a combination of global warming, the credit crunch, and 9/11.

One of TBC's celebrity supporters, Dennis The Little Cunt

Not, however, that it’s all doom and gloom round Phibsboro way. On the contrary, former Saint Aaron Callaghan has patched together a squad of players so reasonable in talent that Paddy Power and Boyle Sports have both installed TBC as even-money favourites for the 2012/2013 Leinster Senior League Saturday Major division. Off the field, meanwhile, TBC continue to innovate, with each season ticket holder receiving one free Leo Burdick chip to wear on their shoulder, and every home game there’s a signed shirt up for grabs to anyone who can name more than 6 of their starting XI.

Former Big Club Striker Andrei Pereplyotkin

Of course, there hasn't always been such a contrast in fortunes between the two clubs. Although the echoes of 'one, two, three, four; one, two, three, four...five-nil' have long since subsided in Inchicore, and it's not so long ago that Saints fans looked on enviously as TBC were signing the likes of Republic of Ireland legend Gareth Farrelly and Championship Manager 4 sensation Andrei Pereplyotkin, the clubs have been close rivals on the pitch as well as off it more often than not. And this blog, for one, will miss that rivalry when it's gone.